Math Jokes for Math Teachers

Math Jokes for Math Teachers | mathjokes.net
If you like math and you love jokes then you’ve come to the right place as we have the best funny math jokes!

Most of the collected sayings and jokes are repeated in a number of webpages, which makes it difficult to credit a particular Internet source. Instead, we thank all Internet collectors of math jokes.
So here’s our favorite funny math jokes for teachers.

Math Jokes for Teachers
Math Jokes for Kids

Math Jokes for Math Teachers

Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?
Student: You told me not to use tables. 
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Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? 
Student: One dollar. 
Teacher: You don't know your arithmetic. 
Student: You don't know my father !
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Teacher: If I had five coconuts and I gave you three, how many would I have left ?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: Why not ?
Student: In our school we do all our arithmetic in apples and oranges.
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Teacher: Did you parents help you with these homework problems ?
Student: No I got them all wrong by myself !
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Teacher: If I gave you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have?
Student: Nine.
Teacher: That's not right, you'd have eight.
Student: No, Teacher, I'd have nine. I already have one rabbit at home!
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Teacher: Remember, class, you can't add apples and oranges.
Student: My mother does it all the time. She calls it fruit cocktail.
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Teacher: Can you count from 1 to 20?
Student: I'm not sure. How about if I just count from 1 to 10 twice?
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Teacher: Let X equal the unknown quantity. Now, if X + 10 = 20, and X - 5 = 5, what is X?
Student: As far as I'm concerned, it's still the unknown quantity.
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Teacher: If you have 5 people and only 4 apples, how would you divide them?
Student: I'd ask someone to go get a knife and whoever was stupid enough to go wouldn't get an apple.
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Teacher: How do you find the square root of 144?
Student: I generally ask someone who's smarter than I am.
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Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4 ?
Student: That's not fair; you answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one !
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Teacher: What's 2 and 2?
Student: 4.
Teacher: That's good.
Student: Good ?, that's perfect !
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Teacher: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have ? 
Student: Big hands !
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Teacher: Can you count to 10?
Student: Yes, teacher-one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
Teacher: Now go on from there.
Student: Jack, Queen, King.
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Student: I've added these figures ten times. 
Teacher: Good work! 
Student: And here are my ten answers !
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Teacher: Anna, can you count to 10 without mistakes?
Anna : Yes.. (and she did)
Teacher: Now, Bob, can you count from 10 to 20?
Bob: That depends, with or without mistakes..
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Teacher: If you add 9452 and 1908, then divide the answer by 6 and multiply by 8, what would you get?
Student: The wrong answer !
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Teacher: Anna, can you count to 10 without mistakes?
Anna : Yes.. (and he did)
Teacher: Now, Bob, you take over, beginning with 11.
Bob: 11, 14, 23, 42, 26
Teacher: What kind of counting is that?
Bob: Who's counting? I'm calling signals.
***

Teacher: If you got $10 from 10 people, what would you have ?
Student: A new bike !
***

Bonus: Math Jokes for A*ults

A graduate student of mathematics who used to come to the University on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle. "Where did you get the bike from?" his friends asked. "It's a `thank you' present", he explains, "from that freshman girl I've been tutoring. Yesterday she called me and told that she had passed her math final and wanted to drop by to thank me in person. She arrived at my place on her bicycle. When I had let her in, she took all her clothes off, smiled at me, and said: `You can get from me whatever you desire!'" One of his friends remarks: "You made a really smart choice when you took the bicycle." "Yeah", another friend adds, "just imagine how silly you would have looked in a girl's clothes - and they wouldn't have fit you anyway!"