Math Jokes for Teachers
October 21, 2016
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Math Jokes for Teachers  Mathjokes.net
If you like math and you love jokes then you’ve come to the right place as we have the best funny math jokes for teachers.
We aim to prove that math is fun as well as interesting. So here’s our favorite funny math jokes for teachers.
Talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen for his farmer. He comes back and says ‘All 40 accounted for.’ Farmer says, ‘I’ve only got 36!’ Sheepdog replies, ‘I know, but I rounded them up.'
Two cats called '1,2,3' & 'un,deux,trois' had swim race across channel.
1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!
Hired an oddjob man to do 8 jobs for me. When I got back, he'd only done jobs 1,3,5, and 7
After careful investigation, it was found that aliens' heights were paranormally distributed
I hit someone with a scientific calculator  I used the cosh button
What kind of tree could a maths teacher climb? = Geometry
What do you get if you cross a maths teacher and a clock? Arithmaticks!
Last night I dreamed that I was weightless! I was like, 0mg
* What is a math teacher’s favorite sum?
Summer!
* Why does the principal keep talking to me about having more “arty eye”? I teach reading, not art.
* Teachers who take class attendance are absentminded.
*Teacher: ‘Bob, you know you can't sleep in my class.'
Bob: 'I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.'
*Stressing the importance of a good vocabulary, the teacher told her young charges, "Use a word ten times, and it shall be yours for life."
*Does it count as differentiated instruction if I print their worksheets in different colors?
*Pupil: I don't think I deserved zero on this test!
Teacher: I agree, but that's the lowest mark I could give you!
*Teachers deserve a lot of credit. Of course, if we paid them more, they wouldn’t need it.
*Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of
Pupil: Life imprisonment!
*Where do doormakers get their education?
The school of hard knocks
*What do you call a teacher without students?
Broke…oh wait, that’s a regular teacher
*Teacher: Why have you got cotton wool in your ears, do you have an infection?
Pupil: Well you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in!
*
Kid comes home from 1st day at school. Mum asks, 'What did you learn today?' Kid replies, 'Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.'
*
Pupil: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not
Pupil: Good, because I didn't do my homework
* ~ There is one person in our district who is all about “No Child Left Behind”
~ Who’s that?
~ The bus driver
*What kinds of tests do they give witches?
Hexaminations
*Teacher: You copied from Fred's exam paper didn't you ?
Pupil: How did you know ?
Teacher: Fred's paper says "I don't know" and you have put "Me, neither"!
*The little boy wasn't getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said ..."I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't get better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking."
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
What is a bird’s favorite type of maths?
Owlgebra.
Old mathematicians never die. They just lose some of their functions.
An English cat called “1, 2, 3” and a French cat called “un, deux, trois” had a race to see who could swim across channel the fastest.
1, 2, 3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!
What did the calculator say to the math student?
You can count on me.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
What is the best way to find a math tutor?
Place an add!
I went into math class today and said to my teacher, “To show you how well I understand fractions, I’ve only done half of my homework.
Which king invented fractions?
Henry the eighth.
How many sides does a circle have?
Two – the inside and the outside.
Why did I divide sin by tan?
Just cos.
Why is the obtuse triangle always upset?
Because it is never right.
Today I saw the number 6 playing with the square root of 1.
I thought to myself, “How cute – he has an imaginary friend.”
Why did the student do her math homework on the floor?
The teacher told her not to use tables.
There are 10 types of mathematicians.
Those who know binary and those who don’t.
How does a math professor propose to his fiancee?
With a polynomial ring.
What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt.
Which snakes are good at math?
Adders.
What kind of meals do math teachers eat?
Square meals.
What do mathematicians eat on Halloween?
Pumpkin Pi.
What is a mathematician’s favorite season?
Summer.
What did one algebra book say to the other?
Don’t bother me, I’ve got my own problems.
How does a ghost solve quadratic equations?
By completing the scare.
How does a mathematician plow fields?
With a protractor.
Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?
Because it’s too gross.
Why did the circle do a flip?
To get in shape.
Maybe you like the other: Math jokes for math teachers
Tags:
funny math jokes for teachers
If you like math and you love jokes then you’ve come to the right place as we have the best funny math jokes for teachers.
We aim to prove that math is fun as well as interesting. So here’s our favorite funny math jokes for teachers.
Math Jokes for Teachers
Talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen for his farmer. He comes back and says ‘All 40 accounted for.’ Farmer says, ‘I’ve only got 36!’ Sheepdog replies, ‘I know, but I rounded them up.'
Two cats called '1,2,3' & 'un,deux,trois' had swim race across channel.
1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!
Hired an oddjob man to do 8 jobs for me. When I got back, he'd only done jobs 1,3,5, and 7
Have you heard about the mathematical plant? It has square roots
After careful investigation, it was found that aliens' heights were paranormally distributed
I hit someone with a scientific calculator  I used the cosh button
What kind of tree could a maths teacher climb? = Geometry
What do you get if you cross a maths teacher and a clock? Arithmaticks!
Last night I dreamed that I was weightless! I was like, 0mg
Funny Math Jokes for Teachers
funny math jokes for teachers 
* What is a math teacher’s favorite sum?
Summer!
* Why does the principal keep talking to me about having more “arty eye”? I teach reading, not art.
* Teachers who take class attendance are absentminded.
*Teacher: ‘Bob, you know you can't sleep in my class.'
Bob: 'I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.'
*Stressing the importance of a good vocabulary, the teacher told her young charges, "Use a word ten times, and it shall be yours for life."
*Does it count as differentiated instruction if I print their worksheets in different colors?
*Pupil: I don't think I deserved zero on this test!
Teacher: I agree, but that's the lowest mark I could give you!
What do you call a teacher without students?
Happy
*Teachers deserve a lot of credit. Of course, if we paid them more, they wouldn’t need it.
*Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of
Pupil: Life imprisonment!
*Where do doormakers get their education?
The school of hard knocks
*What do you call a teacher without students?
Broke…oh wait, that’s a regular teacher
*Teacher: Why have you got cotton wool in your ears, do you have an infection?
Pupil: Well you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in!
*
Kid comes home from 1st day at school. Mum asks, 'What did you learn today?' Kid replies, 'Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.'
*
Pupil: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not
Pupil: Good, because I didn't do my homework
* ~ There is one person in our district who is all about “No Child Left Behind”
~ Who’s that?
~ The bus driver
*What kinds of tests do they give witches?
Hexaminations
*Teacher: You copied from Fred's exam paper didn't you ?
Pupil: How did you know ?
Teacher: Fred's paper says "I don't know" and you have put "Me, neither"!
*The little boy wasn't getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said ..."I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't get better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking."
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
What is a bird’s favorite type of maths?
Owlgebra.
Old mathematicians never die. They just lose some of their functions.
An English cat called “1, 2, 3” and a French cat called “un, deux, trois” had a race to see who could swim across channel the fastest.
1, 2, 3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!
What did the calculator say to the math student?
You can count on me.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
What DIY tool do you use in maths?
Multiplayers.
What is the best way to find a math tutor?
Place an add!
I went into math class today and said to my teacher, “To show you how well I understand fractions, I’ve only done half of my homework.
Which king invented fractions?
Henry the eighth.
How many sides does a circle have?
Two – the inside and the outside.
Math jokes for teachers
Math jokes for middle school teachers

Why did I divide sin by tan?
Just cos.
Why is the obtuse triangle always upset?
Because it is never right.
Today I saw the number 6 playing with the square root of 1.
I thought to myself, “How cute – he has an imaginary friend.”
Why did the student do her math homework on the floor?
The teacher told her not to use tables.
There are 10 types of mathematicians.
Those who know binary and those who don’t.
How does a math professor propose to his fiancee?
With a polynomial ring.
What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt.
Which snakes are good at math?
Adders.
What kind of meals do math teachers eat?
Square meals.
What do mathematicians eat on Halloween?
Pumpkin Pi.
What is a mathematician’s favorite season?
Summer.
What did one algebra book say to the other?
Don’t bother me, I’ve got my own problems.
How does a ghost solve quadratic equations?
By completing the scare.
How does a mathematician plow fields?
With a protractor.
Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?
Because it’s too gross.
Why did the circle do a flip?
To get in shape.
Maybe you like the other: Math jokes for math teachers
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