# Math Jokes Of The Day

October 20, 2017
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math jokes of the day |

**Math Jokes Of The Day | mathjokes.net**

Math jokes are a great way for teachers to lighten up the mood in the classroom, especially if students are getting frustrated. This is my collection about math jokes of the day. Check this out.

## Math jokes of the day

—Bob: Anna, we are like two parallel lines.—Anna: Why do you say that?

—Bob: The intersection of our life paths was a mistake.

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—Anna: Let’s do something that is forbidden tonight.

—Bob: Divide by zero?

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—Bob: Can I ask you a question?

—Anna: You can, but you have already just done that.

—Bob: Darn, what about two questions?

—Anna: You can, but that was your second question.

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—Son: Dad, how do I write the number 8?

—Dad: That’s easy: rotate the infinity symbol by pi over 2.

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—Bob: I am not fat at all! My girlfriend tells me that I have a perfect figure.

—Anna: Your girlfriend is a mathematician. For her a perfect figure is a sphere.

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Bob: Hi, how are you?

Anna: +

bob: Will you come to classes today?

Anna: –

Bob: You will be kicked out!

Anna: =

Bob: Are you using your calculator to chat?

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-Student: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?

-Teacher: No, why?

-Student: I didn’t do my homework.

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—Anna: My teacher said we would have a test today, rain or shine.

—Bob: Then why are you so happy?

—Anna: Because it’s snowing.

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-Anna: Do you know that 67% of people are not capable of doing simple arithmetic?

-Bob: I belong to the other 23%

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—Bob: I have a problem. I have difficulty waking up in the morning.

—Anna: Logically, counting sheep backwards should help.

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—Anna: We’ll split the money 50-50.

—Bob: I want 70.

—Anna: Okay, 70-70!

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—Anna: Bob, here are 10 chocolates. Give half of them to your brother.

—Bob: OK. I’ll give him three chocolates.

—Anna: You can’t count?

—Bob: I can, but he can’t.

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—Anna: How is your progress?

—Bob: 50%.

—Anna: Done or left to do?

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—Bob: Which is the odd one out: one, three, six, seven?

—Anna: Well, three of them are odd ones.

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—Bob: Why shouldn’t you argue with a decimal?

—Anna: Decimals always have a point.

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—Bob: I am cold.

—Anna: Go stay in the corner. It’s 90 degrees.

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Bob: How many sides does a box have?

Anna: Two — the inside and the outside.

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If you liked our collection of funny math jokes for kids, then why not check out the rest of our site where we have lots more really funny math jokes, including our multiplication tricks.

—How can you distinguish a physicist from a mathematician?

—Ask the person to walk around a post.

—And?

—A physicist will ask why, and a mathematician clockwise or counter-clockwise?

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Ancient Roman in a clothing store: How come XL is larger than L?

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When I am with you, I solve integrals in my head, so that blood can come back to my brain.

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Arithmetic is the art of counting up to twenty without taking off your shoes.

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Sex is a pathetic thrill for losers who are not able to take a triple integral.

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Paradox: Less money, more need to count it.

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An amazing magic trick! Think of a number, add 5 to it, then subtract 5. The result is the number you thought of!

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I learned three things in school: how to rite and how to count.

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Two is the same thing as eight, to some degree.

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My student couldn’t take an integral from my book. So he took the book together with all the integrals there.

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A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “Five beers, please.”

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To understand what a recursion is, you must first understand recursion.

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There are two types of people in the world: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data sets

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This sentence contains exactly threee erors.

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Two math teachers had a fight. It seems they couldn’t divide something.

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A logician’s wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. His wife asks impatiently, “So, is it a boy or a girl”? The logician replies, “Yes.”

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The first rule of Tautology club, is the first rule of Tautology club.

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During the show “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?” the following question was asked:

What is superfluous in the following list: a carrot, an onion, a potato, a Lexus?

A smart 5th grader answered: a carrot, an onion, and a potato.

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If you buy 3 DVDs for the price of 4, you will get one more as a bonus.

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By definition, one divided by zero is undefined.

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Be back in 5 minutes. If I am late, reread this message.

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I just learned that 4,713,259 people got married in the US in 2016. Not to nitpick, but shouldn’t it be an even number?

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We are happy to announce that 100% of US citizens are computer-savvy and use the Internet on a regular basis (according to a recent Internet survey).

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Do you know that if you start counting seconds, once you reach 31,557,618 you discover that you have wasted a whole year?

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